I lay my heart.

Insan Ku Sayang Kini Menghilang Spin

2011-11-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

2011-11-08T09:24:00.001+08:00

Coz you are not alone, I'm always there with you.

Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...)

2011-11-03T04:00:00.000+08:00

2011-10-31T02:47:00.001+08:00

Life doesn't always turn out exactly as we planned, sometimes it turns out better.

2011-10-28T22:30:00.001+08:00

and the disappointment.

Jamal Abdillah, Hattan, M.Nasir - Kepadamu kekasih

2011-10-27T21:20:00.001+08:00

The car ride back home..

James Morrison - Up ft. Jessie J

2011-10-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

2011-10-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

I just don't know what to do anymore..

2011-10-19T20:24:00.002+08:00

How does the past keep catching up on you no matter how hard you try to run away from it? I thought I left mine for dead; locked up somewhere in a desolated region of my fickle mind. Not caring, not wanting to know why or how it happened. It is something not worth cherishing, let alone for memory sake.

Jaclyn Victor, Ning Baizura, Shylla Amzah - Beribu Sesalan [Official Mus...

2011-10-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

Nick Lachey - What's Left Of Me

2011-10-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

Ronan Keating - This I Promise You

2011-10-15T12:28:00.000+08:00

2011-10-09T02:17:00.001+08:00

Putus tak bisa disambung
Kusut tak terhurai
Hilang tak bisa diganti
Patah kekeringan
Cinta terlarang
Bagai terbuang
Dalam rimba yang gelap dan penuh duri

2011-10-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

Puas aku mencuba
Menepis semua dugaan
Malah ada yang anggap
Aku lupa daratan

Peritnya aku lalui
Kemelut yang panjang
Hingga ke saat ini
Ku tidak ketentuan

2011-10-03T22:20:00.002+08:00

It's just a front. An act.
How do you see beyond the mask?

2011-09-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

Engkau bagai air yang jernih
Di dalam bekas yang berdebu
Zahirnya kotoran itu terlihat
Kesucian terlinding jua

2011-09-22T23:59:00.002+08:00

A gift from me to you.

2011-09-11T20:09:00.002+08:00

This thing. This feeling. What is it.

In times of desperation, you will always look for something to inspire you.

2011-09-06T01:22:00.002+08:00

You know the feeling where you just wanna vent everything out.

2011-08-30T02:13:00.003+08:00

This month has really been a meaningful month. Today marks the end of the fasting month and the first daylight of Syawal will soon greet us with the much anticipated eagerness and happiness from all muslims worldwide. Some might get greeted earlier than others but it is okay, due to the differences in time zone, it will still come to your shores sooner or later. No one will be left out so no biggy.

They say that those who really understood the rationale of having this fasting month at the first place will feel saddened that Ramadhan has left us. Ramadhan is supposed to be the month where we all reflect and repent on what we have done throughout the year or our lives. However, it does not mean that all muslims only repent during the Ramadhan period. What it means is that god has given us the opportunity and time to do so. It serves as a reminder from god to all.

Don't get me wrong by picturing me as a religious or holy person. Maybe a person with a lot of holes and gaps in his life then yeah, that's me. I'm just trying my best to rectify my wrongs and be a better person. This Ramadhan, I deliberately made a few "niat"-s so as to make this month worthwhile and not waste it away like what I did for the years that have past. I kept to what I wanted to do throughout and I am truly grateful to have learnt a lot from this month as opposed to the previous years.

Sometimes, I kept asking myself if god will ever forgive me for all the sins that I have committed because it is too great for even me, to forgive myself. Like even my ego concedes defeat. But then again, who am I to say if I am forgiven or not. All I can do is hope for that one day, I may be forgiven. Ada hadis yang berkata but I shall not go into that.

If I were to enumerate whatever I have learnt from this month alone, it will take me hours to do so. Knowing me, I shall take the easier route out and typed on what particularly touched me this time round. Have you ever thought about what will it be like to lose someone very dear to you? And to make matters worse, you have not exactly been treating the person right all this while? I am guilty of that. The person I was referring to is my grandmother. She is senile now and have her off days here and there but does that give me the right to completely disrespect her and just ignore her existence? I know it is frustrating at times but that is the very woman that doted and looked after me when I was still very young. I know for a fact that I was very close to my grandma. When I was about 4-6 years of age, I vividly recalled her making me milk each time I asked, brought me out to the market, bought me toys and carrot juice all the time. I'm smiling to myself now because up till now, I still drink the carrot juice even at school. I am probably the only loser buying that can drink from the canteen each time but hey, I like it. She used to send and fetched me during my kindergarten days and cooked her nice " Lemak Ketam" once in a while just for her grandchildren. Whenever my mom scolded me, I would run to her room and hid behind her and she would comfort me. She would be like " alalala cucu nenek ni kesian nye. Jangan nangis k? " and sang her songs. Up till now I never really did understand what she was singing then but I assumed those were the songs people sang during the kampung days. The point is, she is a part of my life and will always be a part of my life no matter the circumstances. If she were to go, I don't wanna regret not being able to be there for her during her last stages. I don't wanna regret knowing that I could have expressed and repay her love and care all this while but didn't. I don't wanna live with that regret. It made me realized how much I love her and care for her. The whole point being, not living with regrets and fulfilling one's responsibility. Thank you for making me realize that.

I learned that we have to give ourselves some allowance to make mistakes because only with that, can you learn from it and better ourselves. We cannot always be so hard down on ourselves over a mistake and let it hinder us in our progress in life. I learned that god has something in store for everyone. When one door closes, another opens. We just have to persevere and hang tough. I learned that sometimes, you just gotta do things on your own. You don't always have your friends or family to support you all the time no matter how ideal the situation gets. I learned that by forgiving, then you are letting go of the past. I learned a couple more but i think I have reached a point where my brain has maxed out its capacity to think at this point of time.

One more thing I have been meaning to say but didn't get the chance to; In love, it is not always about getting what you want but the sacrifices you make.

Eid Mubarak

2011-08-30T01:47:00.002+08:00

Sebulan ramadhan telah pun datang dan pergi buat tahun ini.
Sebulan yang penuh dengan cabaran dan pelajaran.
Namun,buat kali ini,
Alhamdulillah tercapai semua hajat-hajatku.

2011-08-28T02:27:00.002+08:00

I'm just afraid.

2011-08-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

2011-08-27T02:25:00.001+08:00

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

2011-08-21T23:01:00.003+08:00

Year in, year out. I know there will be someone looking out for me. Keeping me in check, offering me advices, hearing me out. But now that you are gone, who is gonna take your place? Or am I suppose to embark on this alone?

2011-08-18T00:26:00.001+08:00

We learn everyday. Be it by yourself or from others. What's important is that we don't give up after each fall. Things may not be the way you want them to be but like everything, it has its reasons.

2011-08-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

“Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
Imam Ali Ibn Abu Talib

2011-08-13T21:26:00.001+08:00

2011-08-13T04:15:00.000+08:00

2011-08-10T02:10:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt: Do not leave your eggs rolling unless you want them scrambled.

2011-08-09T05:41:00.001+08:00

“So verily, with hardship there is relief. Verily, with hardship there is relief”

2011-07-31T14:02:00.000+08:00

2011-07-25T21:34:00.001+08:00

2011-07-25T21:22:00.001+08:00

Eventually the fast text message responses will become slow. The long conversation will cut short. The attention they give you will become neglected. The comfort they give you will become something awkward. The time they have for you will become non existent. The feeling of being close to them will become distant.

2011-07-24T23:04:00.001+08:00

2011-07-22T21:09:00.001+08:00

2011-07-06T01:56:00.000+08:00

2011-06-27T02:40:00.001+08:00

" You can't go far, you can only dream"

"But if you believe, you can go further than just dreaming."

2011-06-25T01:34:00.008+08:00

What does it take for one to listen?

Please don't do this. I miss talking to you.
I really miss you. If only you knew.

2011-06-22T16:19:00.001+08:00

2011-06-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

2011-06-13T14:53:00.003+08:00

What does it take to hold on to something that doesn't exist at the first place? Ignorance? Maybe, how about believe or faith? Both seem adequately interchangeable but faith is a much stronger word since it somewhat intertwines both 'believe' and 'trust' together. Well, what actually drives us to hold on to it dearly at the first place despite knowing that it isn't there then? Desire perhaps? It serves as a positive motivation to constantly reach out for what you wanna hold on to without much conviction. You don't need concrete evidence to justify your drive towards it. You are self-motivated to do so. No exterior interference or aid. Just you, by yourself. You want it because you do. No queries or questions asked. Then again, there is always a defining line that provides the necessary boundary between desire and delusion. Stray by even a mere inch might see you to the other side. You just gotta hope that the grass is indeed greener over at the other side if not, you are on your own. Delusion is a two-sided affair. It can keep you in misery or contentment. Either way, both feelings are self-induced and ultimately, unreal.

Assuming that you did hold on, what is the outcome at the end of the day? Is it for certain that everything will turn out fine and the way you expected it to be, like in every fairytale or movie? Or is there still this cloud of uncertainty that amasses till the very moment where the truth unfolds? It has to be the latter cos in life, nothing is for certain. Now, another question will spring to mind; why hold on if it's not there? That is a very good question. Only your heart knows the answer.

2011-05-27T23:11:00.001+08:00

One last.

2011-05-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

Would you?

2011-05-09T05:08:00.002+08:00

It is what it is.

A path of uncertainty.
What ifs, hopes and dreams
An intricate path.
It is a path where we all have to walk through.
Be it alone or with company,
a small step might land you onto making the biggest decision
in life.

It is what it is.

I lay my heart.

2011-05-02T23:59:00.003+08:00

Oh irony.

Do we let fate takes its course
Or do we make fate happen?

Do we stand by our rights
even if it's the very person who taught you to do so
is taking that away from you?

Do you put up a brave front to hide your emotions
Or is it your ego taking over your conscious?

Is love really all wonderful
when what you get are heartaches
after heartaches?

So tell me irony of life. Is it true that you are an irony to my irony?

2011-04-29T23:34:00.003+08:00

What does it take to understand?

I'm perpetually pulled into this other dimension
Where nothing but pitch darkness greets.
All I can hear is the sound of a ticking clock,
The heart beats.
Beating from time to time without any sense of rhythm,
Irregularities.

2011-04-27T23:11:00.003+08:00

Give me a sign.
Give me something to believe in.

2011-04-22T09:10:00.003+08:00

You're my past, my future,
My all, my everything,
My six in the morning when the clock rings
and I open up my eyes to a new day
My Laughs, my frowns
My ups, My downs
Its a feeling that you get when you know that somethings true,
When i think of love I think of you

I'm looking at you while you're sleeping here beside me,
Oh, mere words cant explain the love i have inside
Its more than just a physical thing, I know
Its something like a spiritual connection
I feel it in my soul heart and mind

The sweetest thing is what you are
From you, I'll never be to far,
Please say forever you will stay beside me

You're beautiful like the colours of the rainbow
Warm heated like the rays of the sun on summer days
All I got to do is look into your eyes to lose myself
You're the substance of my dreams, epitomy of women
The only one I truly call mine

When I think of you- Lee Ryan

2011-04-20T23:15:00.001+08:00

My laughs,my frowns.
My ups, my downs.

2011-04-20T07:13:00.001+08:00

Bitch. mother fucker.

2011-04-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku berserah
Kerana ku tahu Kau lebih mengerti
Apa yang terlukis di cermin wajahku ini
Apa yang tersirat di hati
Bersama amali

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku bertanya
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku kembali
Atau harus menghitung lagi
Segala jasa dan bakti
Atau harus mencampakku ke sisi
Tanpa harga diri

Hanya padaMu Kekasih
Aku tinggalkan
Jawapan yang belum ku temukan
Yang bakal aku nantikan
Bila malam menjemputku lena beradu

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku serahkan
Jiwa dan raga
Jua segalanya
Apakah Kau akan menerima penyerahan ini
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku
Dalam keadaan begini

2011-04-18T23:54:00.001+08:00

If we put out the sun and stopped it from shining
We both know
We still couldn't be anymore in the dark
There's no flashlight
There's no insight
As hard as we try
We keep running round in circles
Time after time, hello, goodbye
Once again I walk away
There's no turning back this time

2011-04-15T22:07:00.001+08:00

2011-04-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

2011-04-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

2011-04-09T11:10:00.003+08:00

Find the strength. Don't succumb that easily. Know when to shut and shun it out of your system. Control it. Suppress. Don't crack under it. A thousand over mountains to climb. You will get by, one by one, stronger than before.

What does it take to notice someone in need of someone to lean on, to cry on? The teary eyes? The inverted smile? The change in behaviour? Or how well you know the person?

The duration doesn't matter. We don't need to know the person long enough to actually hear the sound of a breaking heart behind those smiles.

2011-04-09T11:09:00.001+08:00

2011-04-06T22:59:00.001+08:00

2011-04-06T22:58:00.001+08:00

2011-03-30T23:12:00.002+08:00

It didn't really cross my mind. It does make perfect sense. It does. Why didn't I see it from the start? Did I not read the signs? It has been staring at me for quite some time, waiting to be seen.

2011-03-28T22:25:00.002+08:00

Don't you just hate attention seekers? Not only do they try to seek attention but when they get it, it gets to their head.

2011-03-27T10:23:00.003+08:00

I guess things happen for a reason. Or at least I would like to think so.

I woke up, recalling the past. What had been and what could have been. How can a situation be so similar yet different? I mean, I went through the same set of emotions which crippled me at that juncture but it is different now. The pain is somewhat alleviated and to expect the unexpected seems rather redundant given that it has became expected.

I'm just waiting for time to fly by. Waiting for the scene to unfold for itself. I might have a vague picture of what's to come. Right now, I can imagine myself going through all those all over again. But will it be the same, again? I don't know for myself. They say we dictate our own way of life. I don't mind going through it again but with a different outcome. I need another hand to clap. I might need assistance. I need patience. I need time. I guess that's one of the factors to life. The uncertainty. We might be faced with the same situation but the experiences might vary. Don't give up. Work towards what you believe in.

-Tuhan sengaja menduga kita, di mana kesabaran manusia

2011-03-17T13:15:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to find you
I'm standing right behind you
The streets are much colder
This mean I'm getting older

Why would you? How could I?
These questions lead to goodbye
But now I got my freedom
Don't I?

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a way to be alone
I'm terrified to think that I may be losing my mind

Shy girl, so humble
With eyes that make me stumble
Somehow not speaking lets me know everything
I go out, You eat in
Hot from the situation
You're naked in daylight
Wrap yourself up and goodnight

I'm burning, I'm hungry
Angry cuz she don't love me
You got me completely
In my own game you beat me

I parked my car outside your house
Hope that someday you'll come home
Seems the woman that I love
Is someone that I hardly know
And after all this time
I finally found a way to be alone
I'm terrified I think that I may be losing my mind

I will be back again
No this is not the end
I've fallen hard this time but I not giving in
I want the world to know that I won't let you forget
The tears that you shed
I'll make it impossible to let go

2011-01-21T16:16:00.000+08:00

Style of your hair,
shape of your eyes and your nose,
the way you stare
As if you see, right through to my soul,

It's your left hand and the way
that it's not quite as big as your right,
the way you stand in the mirror
before we go out at night,

Our quiet time,
your beautiful mind,

They're a part of the list.
Things that I miss.
Things like your funny little laugh,
the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What I noticed is this:
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce.

The way you sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.

I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.

and when I'm awake
staring at pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,
invading your space.

2011-01-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

Hello you! Yes, you. Don't try to ignore this ah!!!! (:

2011-01-06T18:24:00.001+08:00

Sekian lama terpisah
Akhirnya kita berjumpa
Bagai sebuah cerita cinta

Senyuman yang kau ukirkan
Selalu bermain dimata
Hingga terbawa didalam lena

Bilaku pejam mata
Dirimu yang menjelma
Bertemu kita di dalam mimpi indah

Ku sering memikirkan dirimu kasih
Tak putus doaku hulur padamu
Moga terbuka pintu hatimu untukku
Membuktikan kejujuran cintaku

Impian menjadi nyata
Seandainya kau terima
Cinta yang telah aku berikan
Akanku genggam setia
Janji yang telah dibina
Bersama kita menuju bahagia

Bilaku pejam mata
Dirimu yang menjelma
Bertemu kita didalam mimpi indah

Kau bersinar mengerangi kegelapan
Kau hadir menyeri kehidupanku
Maafkanlah daku kisah cinta lalu
Takkan ku ulangi kesilapanku

Kan ku cium tanganmu
Sebagai tanda rindu
Kan ku katakan ku cinta padamu

Kan ku cium tanganmu
Sebagai tanda rindu
Kan ku katakan
Darling I love you

2010-12-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

People come and go. That's the fact of life. Nonetheless, I really do treasure their existance and the roles they play or had played throughout the course of this year. It's the little things they did that I will try to remember and one day repay them in any way possible. Needless to say for those whom I owe a huge debt to. I remembered someone writing on facebook that if one goes, it doesn't mean that he or she is gone for good from your life but just that his part in your story has ended and a new chapter is beginning. So with every friend we lose, we will meet new ones and hopefully their roles will still be playing in your story

2010-12-27T13:48:00.006+08:00

Me

In life, the first act is always exciting. The second act is where the depth comes in. The year 2010 was an eye opener for me. It began with lots of hopes and dreams. I was then an eager freshman, awaiting for what lies ahead of me when I first took a step into jc. With me were my loyal companions, all just eager to dive into this new world. I told myself that I will not change for the worse despite being in a completely new environment. I promised myself to hold on to it firmly because of all the stories of people changing as they moved on frightened me till then. They say that change is inevitable. I didn't want to be the guy who was just a shadow of his old self and the guy with no roots attached. I wanted to be me. To be myself, or I thought I was myself. Time flew and pretty soon it was somewhere in the middle of the year. All it took was just a conversation with this good friend of mine. She told me that I was different. Different from the Saufi she used to know. The knock came in soo hard to the extend that I literally froze on my chair with my eyes still glued to this computer screen. Almost instantly, I was brought back to the start of the year with flashbacks after flashbacks kept running through my mind. I wanted so hard to deny that I was a changed person but it was futile. I was proven wrong. I did a little soul-searching. At that point, I was really helpless. I didn't know what to do. I kept asking myself " Who am I ? " and yet the reply from the heart was " Spiderman" . I did chuckle because I can't seem to get the line from Spiderman off my head but it grew annoying because I couldn't even define me. It really took me a while to find the solution to it. And the solution was just staring right in front of me from the start. Embrace life as it is. It is true that people change. Be it for the good or bad, we can only define me if we choose to be true to ourselves. Yes, that means that we are always changing but for the greater good or bad, that lies entirely in your hands. It is a test of character and good will. The will to just carry on with life even when shit is thrown at you. I learnt so much about myself and others. I am proud to say that I know myself better after this year ends. Of course, this year wouldn't be complete without the company of my friends, both old and new found friends.

Friends

I just want to say that I am really this fortunate to have met such good friends in my new school as well as the old ones. Wan Faridzuan , Heetesh , Siddharth, Jarrell , Ayeshah, Naufal and this list goes on.

2010-12-21T01:10:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, finding the right words to say isn't always easy. The words are everywhere. You choose them, string them into sentences. If it doesn't depicts what you have in mind, unstrung it. Rearrange it in any way you want till it paints a picture. Be it a skimpy piece of coloured chicken scratches or well detailed masterstroke of art. You decide.

This is how I choose to paint my picture.
In life, we all make decisions. Be it good or bad, it is only for the bearer to decide. At times, we simply have to make the leap and only hope for the best. The reflection process will only start once we had our first brush with either the consequence or just the fruits of our labour. Then we will reach a consensus with our conflicting self-s/counterparts/alter-ego. After some time, when we look back, very often do we turn to cliches for comfort. To give ourselves a pat on the back or words of encouragement to continue on with life despite being blinded to the err of our ways as we take a step forward only to realize that we are two steps back. Cliches such as part and parcel of life or ups and downs to life might seem like the best way to encapsulate what you have been through and have learnt from it but are those really reflecting what you actually gone through or felt at that point of time?

My guess will be a solid no. To me, those are just like sketches to a picture, outlining the perimeter of a more vivid recollection of what you choose to remember. Slowly and gradually, your memory will trigger and branch out. Joining the dots. Forming the draft to your picture. Subconsciously, the colours will fill in for themselves as you reminisced the different phases that you have gone through, adding a huge variety of colours to your black and white life. Soon enough, final touches will be delicately made and that piece of art will unveil itself to you.

I will like to begin with
Me. Friends. Studies. Relationships.

2010-12-08T16:56:00.000+08:00

"Don't settle, go for what you really want"

2010-12-04T02:10:00.001+08:00

SAUFI SHOULD CHANGE HIS BLOG PASSWORD BEFORE HIS ACCOUNT GETS HACKED IN AGAIN.

:D i told you i would do this. HAHAA.
good night world.

2010-10-10T13:42:00.002+08:00

Last night was probably one of the few nights which I actually fell sound asleep after god knows when. Promos might have ended on Tuesday but I've been hanging out till late at night and waking up bright and early the following day to hang out again. My house has been made into a hotel. I checked in late at night and check out the following morning. But I guess, it has to come to stop soon since there is school the next day. I'm still going out today but maybe I might return home early. MIGHT to be the keyword.

2010-09-26T21:31:00.001+08:00

To start it off i know you know me,
to come to think of it, it was only last week
that i had a dream about us, oh
That's why I'm here, I'm writing this song
to tell the truth you know I've been hurting all along,
someway let me know, you want me girl,

Every time you see me what do u see?
I feel like I'm a poor man and you're the queen,
oh baby, you're the only thing that i really need,
baby that's why

You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night
you make me wanna hold you till the morning light
You make me wanna love,
you make me wanna fall,
You make me wanna surrender my soul
I know this is a feeling that i just cant fight,
you're the first and last thing on my mind

2010-09-22T23:21:00.002+08:00

Ku terkenang peristiwa kita berdua
bersua dalam khayalan idaman
Hasrat cinta tak terkata
Lafaz ingin bersama
terkandung dalam hati semata-mata

Kini masa sudah berubah
Perasaan cinta kian lama pudar
Persoalan berkuntum
Jauh di minda

Ke mana perginya kata-kata dulu
Disebut dengan sepenuh hati
Digenggam tak mungkin dipenuhi
Janji tak ku mungkiri
Niat di hati tak nak kembali

2010-09-21T21:49:00.002+08:00

" Why do you always give in to others bro? You are just letting yourself suffer..." My friend said that to me in school earlier today. It got me thinking again. I pondered about it. It occurred to me that maybe it's just me. Something about me that has always been there ever since I encountered my first brush with reality after dwelling too long in my own self-confined world.

But then again, on the way back home, I was just relishing my past and indulging myself to the familiar Malay tunes and melody when it struck me again. Why do I always give in? I like to see the sense of happiness that it brings to others. I like the fact that it makes them smile. It doesn't have to be about me all the time. We give and we take. I do so because we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

Pure love produces pure nonsense.

2010-09-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

Tak pernah ku menduga
Gelora jiwa sesali dada
Aku jatuh dan aku merindu tanpa kepastian
Bagaimanakah nantinya
Aku dapat merasakan
Rasa cinta di hatiku
Hanyalah untukmu kekasihku

2010-09-14T23:16:00.002+08:00

Every time I log on to my account, the words seemed to have instantly slipped through my mind. The moment before, I swear I had my thoughts sorted out and structured. Currently, what's going through my mind is jumbled up.

2010-09-11T21:54:00.001+08:00

Because I believe it's you
Like you believe it's me.

2010-09-09T23:28:00.001+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Ampun maaf dipinta
Mensuci diri dari dosa.

2010-09-05T13:30:00.003+08:00

Not many would know what actually happened. I've been the victim, time and time again. I know that I can't always give in and let others salvage their pride or ego. Each time I think about it, I don't see the fault in me. I did what I had to do. I did try to but my efforts proved futile. The mind is complex. It can curb the most desirable into the least wanted or even worse. All I ever wanted was just your happiness. I didn't ask for more. It was an unselfish thought and intention. You think you know what's more to all that's happening. You are gravely mistaken. I took a step back earlier and scrutinized the bigger picture.

Half of my heart has the grip of the situation. Half of my heart needs time.

2010-08-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

Berdosakah diriku
Terpaksa melepaskan
Cintamu yang serapuh
Dahan nak kering usang
Yang akhirnya kan patah
Terhempa gemeretap
Oh sungguh memilukan
Tak dapat ku bayangkan

Seribu kali sayang
Sangkaku kan ke mati
Cerita kasih kita
Rupanya seketika
Setelah merelakan
Setelah kau bisikkan
Segugus janji-janji
Tergamak kau mungkiri

Apakah sebenar yang terjadi
Hingga kau bersikap demikian
Sedangkan kau
Sesungguhnya percaya
Kasihku tak berbelah bagi

Aduhai
Tak sanggup ku kenangkan
Semua telah nyata
Cintamu gurauan
Datang dan hilang
Semahu hatimu
Itulah falsafah
Pegangan cintamu
Namun harus kau ingat
Hati yangmanakah
Selamanya kan sabar

2010-08-24T05:21:00.002+08:00

At times, I stop to ponder. Why does life have to be in this way? Only to realize that you don't question how life is but you question the decisions you make. How convincing can you be to make a decision. How do you influence yourself to make that decision.

2010-08-22T12:13:00.005+08:00

Let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart.
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, take me back to the start.
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

I just love my grandma's cooking.

Sejarah silam yang terbenam
tidak mungkin ku alpakan
perlu ku harungi ketiadaan rindu
kerna kehidupan tanpa merana
ibarat dunia tanpa makna
sekuntum bunga tanpa warna

2010-08-14T13:06:00.003+08:00

2010-08-09T15:23:00.003+08:00

Bila aku salah
Tolong maafkanlah
Ku tak ingin membuat
Kau menangis

Aku tahu kau marah
Aku tahu kau luka
Tapi jangan paksa
untuk berpisah

Aku ingin selalu bersamamu
Walau senang walau kita susah

Mungkin aku salah di matamu
Mungkin aku lemah di matamu
Tapi tak pernah terfikir
Kau pergi tinggalkan aku

Bila aku salah di matamu
Bila aku lemah di matamu
Ku hanya bisa memohon
Maaf atas salahku

2010-07-23T23:44:00.002+08:00

I stood by. I heard.

the walk through memories
reminiscing
pondering
I thank you for that.

2010-07-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

Ku meragui pilihan ku.
Adakah sepatutnya ku disalahkan
atau diperbuat usul tuduhan?
Ku hanya memohon ketulusan
Keikhlasan dari mu
tidak berlebihan.

2010-07-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

Imbasan kenangan rindu
Berakhir sudah
Telah ku abadikan dipusara kelukaan ini
Kini berputik kuntuman bunga penawar rindu
Merawat pedih memulih duka yang rapuh

Tinggallah rindu menjadi memori cinta
Biarlah berlalu tiada rindu lagi

Kini tiada rindu lagi hanya sementara
Namun pasti ku kembali

Kini aku bahagia
Sepi tanpa dia
Namun ku yakin kan pasti ada
Menanti purnama tersenyum redha

Sinaran mentari yang menyinar mengundur diri
Sang purnama malam tersenyum indah mengiring doa
Bintang-bintang melambai pasti berkelip bagai
Merestu ,menyuluh jalan menyisir kenangan rindu

Selamat tinggal rindu

2010-07-19T22:46:00.001+08:00

Ku anggapkan semalam
Satu kenangan yang suram
Bila cinta kita
Putus di jalan

Ku harapkan impian
Menjadi kenyataan
Namun aku kecewa

Mudahnya waktu melafazkan janji
Engkau dan aku berdua serupa
Rupanya mentari dalam mainan percintaan

Telahpun ku bentangkan segalanya
Mencari entah dimana silapnya
Jelas asmara kecundang jua

Bukan ku tak sudi kasih
Untuk bersamamu bercinta lagi
Kerna antara kita
Tidak sehaluan lagi

Maafkan diriku sayang
Menolak cintamu untuk kali ini
Walaupun ku tahu
Bersungguh benar rasa hatimu

2010-07-03T10:26:00.000+08:00

Jangan sampai terlambat
Mungkin kita nanti tak sempat
Terus menerus menjalinkan persahabatan ini

Jangan sampai terlupa
Mungkin kita nantikan apa
Setahun sekali berjumpa sangat tak mencukupi

Kawan kawan dan keluarga mari,
Bersama kita menjalin kasih
Jangan sampai terlambat
Terima pesanan ini

2010-06-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

And day lights, craving
Sunshine on this frozen heart
I am wishing you well
Wondering how you are

If you and I are going under
Maybe we can both recover
And find forgiveness for each other
Even if this is goodbye

And time heals
But these scars keep on tearing us apart
And sometimes ending is the only place to start

If what we had is really over
If fate is out there we discover
Let's find forgiveness for each other
Even if this is goodbye

2010-06-18T09:48:00.000+08:00

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

2010-06-16T21:53:00.002+08:00

I know I can't do these on my own
because I know I'm no superman.

I really have a lot to say but none seems to flow out from this congested mind. It's like a hurricane in here with emotions and thoughts swirling around. It is so disoriented. One moment I was thinking about this and the next, another thing came up to my head. I guess it is hard to keep a very open mind.

2010-05-29T12:44:00.003+08:00

Untold lies. Tell me why should I cry? It feels so different being here. I just had a wake-up call. How do I breathe?

2010-05-09T10:50:00.004+08:00

Everyone knows it is never easy pleasing anyone. You made an attempt and the attempt was misjudged as self-centered. Do all things we do in life revolve around the fundamental fact that it is to our own sole interest? I've been sitting on the fence for far too long. I can't always stay on mutual ground. I have a mind of my own too and I do and did contemplate on every single situation thrown at me. I don't feel propel to do so but because I want to.

But sometimes, the easier route is to stay submissive. I know by being submissive means to be on mutual side. Yes, now there are three sides to a complication,solution, decision; the right side, the mutual side and the left side. Of course the left side is the bad and hasty side of everything. Then again, who am I to make the decision.

2010-04-29T22:15:00.003+08:00

It has been approximately 2 months. If you were to look back, the holidays didn't seem too long ago. Maybe it's true. Days after days have been so mundane to the extent that you can't remember anything significant that ever did occur to you in school. Mendak, I'll say. Its just a daily cycle that we have to go through, week in and week out. Today is a Friday and the next day is a Monday again. Where were Saturday and Sunday? Where have the weekends gone to?

Yet again, I never did spend my time constructively. Time has or had been wasted by staring into space or merely looking around. I see people all around me changing. I see myself changing and doubting my own identity. It hurts at times when you feel that you could or already made the effort to change the perception of others but not receive what you deserve. Maybe some form of acknowledgment would ease the pain a little.

I would think that I'm the type of person who would be there whenever needed to but would be invisible whenever I'm not needed. Is it really true? I don't know for myself. It's either that or I'm simply a wanderer who roams around aimlessly in search for attention? That will make me an Attention-seeker. I've been paying much closer attention to even the trivial of things. I noticed. I scrutinized. I simply get going with life. Sometimes feigning ignorance can be a bliss.

2010-03-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

We just have to look at it from another perspective. That's what I look forward to everyday.

2010-02-27T21:43:00.014+08:00

For my one and only,

I can't help but to feel grateful for your presence. I've never met a guy who has kept his word so well. You've never disappoint me thus far, and I know whenever I'm with you, I feel safe. You never fail to put a smile on my face even after a long exhausting day and thoughts of you always keep me going even when I'm on the verge of giving up. I can never thank you enough for all you've done and sacrificed for me. Be it your time, your sleep, anything and everything. I've never really found out the meaning of love till I met you. The moment you pick me up and made me stronger.

I like the way you want my attention. I like the way you'll always give me your attention. I like the way you smile. I like the way you frown when you're worried about me. I like the way how you make me feel stupid. I like the way you entertain my nonsense. I like the way you laugh at me. I like how you're always there for me; listening to me whine, lending me your listening ear when I needed one, constantly giving me your support and more. I like the way we talk about our future. I like the way you never give up on me. I like the way you want me to yourself. Because I don't mind.

Rest assured sayang, I'm your girl. You don't know how much my love has grown for you throughout the whole journey and I'm glad that we've managed to pull through the obstacles thus far. And I want you to know, together, we're indestructible. Nothing will ever break us and I will always stand by you whenever you need me. Because having you in my world has been the greatest thing that has ever occurred to me. You don't care when my hair's all over the place. You don't care if I'm not nicely dressed. You don't care even when I'm sweaty and smelly after training. You don't care. Because I know you love me despite the circumstances. And now I want you to know, I love you all the same.

All I see in You is perfection.
Happy Belated 17th Sayang. I love you.
From Mardhiyyah

2010-02-07T15:29:00.002+08:00

This is never ending. What may seem to be like the light at the opposite end just plunged into pitch darkness with uncertainty lurking ahead. I admit. I can't feel my heart now. Of course not literally because I would be dead by then.

Sacrifices. Oh wells. Okay, bring it on.